First I apologise that your birthday cake isn’t all that one could have hoped for.

I admit, I didn’t remember that ingredients need to be weighed until the second to last ingredient – OK then, I did remember but

I couldn’t be bothered because my scales are lbs and ozs and the recipe was grams.

I also thought it was very clever to use the Vitamix to blend the eggs and sugar rather than the boring old wooden spoon technique and yes, I could have used the blender but it already had the flour and walnuts in!

It did look pretty hobnob-like when it came out of the oven, I didn’t know you have to smooth the top and, though I had a variety of cake tins, none matched in size so I squidged one up a bit in the middle of the tin.

I think the filling is great – even though I didn’t have icing sugar which was needed but, brilliantly, normal brown (healthier) sugar, when blended, almost turns into it – couldn’t work out why it smelt a bit fishy though – until I remembered the egg blending I did earlier…. they must feed organic chickens on fish!!!

So, really, if you imagine its not a cake but a big novelty coffee biscuit sandwich you will be very happy.

Oh and before you ask; yes, I admit, I did hide three big carrots in it, blended with the eggs which is probably why its pretty solid – great British bake off might have said heavy, not a crumb in sight though – but you get almost one of your 5 a day in a slice!

Happy birthday Robin and I promise, next year I’ll buy the cake xxx

Botched recipe from Red Velvet chocolate heartache with apologies for messing it up to Harry Eastwood too!